There Is No Truth ... And That's The Truth (TYDN)

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Using Electronics Built By Slaves, Online Protesters Ding Twitter On Rights Violations


by Howard Schlumpinsky, TYDN Internet Affairs Writer
SAN FRANCISCO -- (TYDN) Armed with smart phones and computers built by third-world indentured servants and child slaves, the American online community is blasting Twitter for agreeing to censor tweets in foreign nations to comport with local law, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.


Twitter's announcement on its blog -- which was broadcast to the world via computers powered by oil produced by despotic regimes, and servers built by subsistence-wage workers in totalitarian nations -- was met with staunch disdain by much of the online American public.


"That Twitter would acquiesce to this grave human rights violation and agree to censor some tweets simply shocks the conscience," blogged Arnold Davidisnky, a 20-something San Francisco computer engineer adorned in designer clothing produced by overseas sweat shop workers as young as 7 years old.


Davidisnky's sentiment was seemingly shared internet wide. 


"Twitter needs to set an example that human rights violations cannot be tolerated," tweeted somebody going by the Twitter handle @invisibleirony. 


In a later tweet, @invisibleirony asked whether she should get the iPhone 4S or await for the iPhone 5.


Internet analysts said the protests underscored that Americans would not tolerate human rights violations. 


"That Twitter would tolerate human rights violations shows what a bogus and irresponsible corporate entity it is," said Geff Garvis, an online media critic known for his argyle socks produced by Chinese children.


The protest is being funded by a hastily-produced e-waste recycling program where protesters are collecting unwanted computers,  televisions and mobile-phones from participants in the Twitter anti-censorship movement nationwide. The used electronics will then be dumped in third-world neighborhoods where the waste will pollute water supplies while giving bare-footed children pennies-a-day scavenging jobs.


Twitter, meanwhile, declined to say in what countries and what words it would censor. But to meet the demands of the protest movement, it promised in a Sunday blog post to never censor tweets announcing Best Buy's weekend sales ad.
Photo: hohohob/Flickr

Friday, January 27, 2012

Poll: GOP Voters Siding With 'Least Heinous' Candidate


by Dexter Futzmery, TYDN Political Affairs Writer
JACKSONVILLE, Florida -- (TYDN) Likely GOP primary voters polled here following the GOP presidential debate said Friday they plan next week to choose the "least heinous" of the four candidates, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.


TheYellowDailyNews' telephone survey of 150 likely GOP voters for the first time highlighted a positive shift in U.S. voting habits. In past surveys, voters said they would vote for the "less evil" candidate.


Analysts said the statistically significant study, with a plus-or-minus margin of error rating of 3.5 percentage points, underscored that Americans were embracing the political process and beginning to view politicians as only heinous instead of evil.


"I think the study clearly shows that American politics is moving in the right direction, that Americans are starting to have more faith and are feeling better about their choices for government office," Cal State Fullerton historian Harry Jeffers said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.


Voters seemed to support that sentiment in their interviews with TheYellowDailyNews.


"I'm for sure gonna pull the trigger for the least heinous Grand Old Party candidate," Omar Frankenburger, a 39-year-old unemployed Key Largo fish monger, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "In elections past, I used to pull the trigger for the less evil candidate. I think America is moving in the right direction."


Meantime, TheYellowDailyNews survey of 150 likely democratic voters found that the majority is leaning toward voting for the incumbent that failed to keep campaign promises from the previous election.


Photo: Lower Columbia College/Flickr

Thursday, January 26, 2012

EXCLUSIVE: Gingrich Lied, Concedes He Has No 'Personal' Friends


by Dexter Futzmery, TYDN Political Affairs Writer
JACKSONVILLE, Florida -- (TYDN) GOP presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich conceded Thursday that he lied a week ago when he told a national, televised audience that he had "personal" friends, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.


Analysts suggested that the revelation, first reported by TheYellowDailyNews on its website, was among the biggest political scandals since President Bill Clinton said he did not have sex with intern Monica Lewinsky.


The Gingrich brouhaha started last week when CNN's John King questioned the candidate if it was true that in 1999 he asked his then-wife Marianne Gingrich for an open marriage so that he could continue having an affair with his girlfriend, Callista. 


"Now, let me be quite clear. Let me be quite clear. The story is false. Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period says the story was false," an angry Gingrich told King.


But in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, Gingrich spokesman R.C. Hammond said Gingrich does not have any friends.


"The former House speaker does not have any personal friends," Hammond said hours before a GOP presidential debate here leading up to the Florida primary. "The conservative Christian was too busy have extra-marital affairs to make any friends."


Photo: DonkeyHotey/Flickr

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

State of the Union: Obama Warns Iran on iPhone Ambitions


by James Burns, TYDN Military Affairs Writer
WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) As Europe was ferrying battleships to the Gulf, President Barack Obama used his State of the Union speech Tuesday night to ramp up pressure on Iran's pursuit of the iPhone, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.


The president warned Iran that America would focus on Tehran's disputed iPhone program with "no options off the table," but said the door remained open to talks for a peaceful resolution.


The President's comments came as European nations sent an international flotilla of warships, led by U.S. carriers, through the sensitive Strait of Hormuz on Sunday as a "clear signal" to Tehran that the iPhone was off limits. A report by the U.N. watchdog International Atomic Energy Agency this month suggested that Iran has been pursuing the iPhone since Apple Inc. unveiled the gadget in 2007.


Meantime, the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press found that American's believe Iran is pursuing the iPhone as a precursor to securing the iPad or perhaps the MacBook Pro.


Iran has threatened to close the Straight of Hormuz -- through which 35 percent of the world's tanker-borne oil exports pass -- in retaliation for global sanctions against Tehran's oil exports.


In his State of the Union, Obama told Congress that Tehran was isolated and facing "crippling" sanctions that he said would continue so long as Iran kept its back turned to the global community and continued its pursuit of the iPhone.